When Dastardly Meets Doggie
by CartoonLoonatic
Summary: We all know the infamous Dick Dastardly had basically had no good friends. But, what if he does and how? (An au where Yo! Yogi makes the timeline more sence or less)(Also part of my Hanna Barbera au that I was building upon.)


Today was just another Saturday in Chestnut Creek at Augie Doggie's house. Augie and Bernice Houghton were off from school. Nick Vile was looking over his already doomed-to-fail test questions. Doggie Doggie and Dick Dastardly sat on the Doggie's dinner table together, talking.

Hold up. What? Dick Dastardly the despicable cheater from the Wacky Races, was talking friendliness to the mild-mannered father model of all fathers, Doggie Daddy himself? To Augie, it was a bit surprising, but nevertheless as long Mr. Dastardly starts bribing his dear ol' dad, it was a nice change of pace.

But to Nick, how in hell of all people( or animals), was his Uncle Dickie, able to passionately discussing about whatever the topic was about. It's Doggie Daddy for Heatter's sake!

"Wait-! Hold the convo-!" he interrupted. "You old men were friends?!" Both the uncle and the father halted and stared at the scruffy boy. What does he had to say?

Dastardly did not usually admits that one of his few closest friends was Alexander Doggie. Everytime he alluded to him, either the others forget about it or just simply didn't believed him, because of Dick usual reputation as obviously a "Dastardly". IT was even worse considering that Alexander's affliction was in the opposite side of the good and bad spectrum. Even his two goody two-shoes lovers were oblivious to this.

The tension in the kitchen gets tighter every other second. Poor Dear Ol' Dad and Uncle Dickie were confused of what was going on. His son and his red hair friend were just as confused of Nick's sudden screeching as they were. Then, Dick decided to break the silence.

"Vile, you know it was rude to interrupt one's conversation and personal life." Dastardly growled, emphasizing on the "personal life".

"But Uncle Dickieeeeeee," Nick retorted with enough fake innocences that you can possible see a halo over the teen's head. "I know that's weird, but you never told me that my friend's father is YOUR friend."

'Fair point Nephew. But, give me one other reasonable reason on why you are so keen to our history," Dastardly said.

"Let me rephrase it: I'm pals with his son," Nick explained, pointing at the green-hooded pup. Doggie Daddy only can just glare at him. "And two, you're a "Dastardly'".

"This child…" Dick sighed and sulked on his chair...Was going to be the death of him. Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was not very firm nor merely a pat. Alexander, his dear friend, looked at him with his genuinely warm eyes and said, "Let's say, how about giving him-"

"AND US!" Bernice butted in, who apparently overheard the conversation.

"And them," he added, indicating his son and Bernice. "Without giving too much away."

"Seems fair,' Nick replies. He turned to the doorway, hollering, "Guys, c'mere! Dibs on the chairs!"

The young pup and the child responded to the holler by dashing through the tiny hallway. First, came Bernice. Then, came Augie. Bernice slide in to the chair like a batter sliding to the base to last chair of four.

"Score!" she cheered.

Augie was just standing next to his dear ol' dad. He didn't seem to mind, but Doggie Daddy looked at him with pity.

"Augie, my chairless son, bring in your swively chair and sit next the edge," he offered.

"Yes, my generous father of mine," Augie replied gleefully. As he come and brought is chair, he turn towards us and said, "That's my dear ol' dad who said that."

"Lucky stiff," Bernice grumbled.

And Muttley, appeared out from nowhere, just snickered.

"So, how does this lovely friendship was born?" Nick asked as he held a spoon if front of Dastardly as a microphone.

"Vile, don't push it," Dastardly gritted underneath his teeth. "We're not treating this as an interview." Augie and Bernice giggled.

Doggie Daddy seem to go along with Nick's imaginary interview.. He decided to answer with a question.

"Did'cha know there was once a mall nearby the one and only Jellystone Park?", he asked.

"A what now?" Bernice questioned.

"A mall, my confused up-to-date child," Doggie Daddy replied. "Couple blocks from the authentic park where Yogi Bear's from. It was a vast building and a paradise for most angsty brats and teens. The paradise was there since we had nowhere else to hang around in the weekends. We had nothin' else to do than to frolic on the park or spending money on a diner with a jukebox."

"Then, the bustling mall was announced in the summer of '95 by the bajillionare Donald Dukington," Dastardly chimed in. He suddenly remembered how the place had a lot of painfully, trendy stores and the spoiled rotten kids (like him). Of course, he even reminded himself how much Yogi and his gang of friends hurts his ass.

"The owner sound like a phony executive," Augie mused.

"You both like to ramble about non-existing capitalist building," Nick interrupted. His lower right eyelid looked like it was going to burst.

"Nicholas Nixon Vile," his uncle said, smiling mischievously. "We're just getting started."


End file.
